Not Intended for the Naive

"I'm not sure I understand."
Eli smiled. "You will, but it will take time. You've got a lot of marks. For now, just come to see me every day and let me remind you how much I care."
Punchinello did not stop, but in his heart he thought, I think he really means it. And when he did, a dot fell to the ground.

-You Are Special by Max Lucado

This past year, I have had multiple experiences which helped me to distinguish between a set of ideals that are prevalent topics in today's society ie: Naivete and Virtue. Many individuals are repetitively belittled for being naive because they will or won't participate in certain activities. Such belittling can be the source of many wounded or angry feelings. Lately I have been wondering why? Why do such accusations leave such a bitter taste in our mouths? In reality, each of us is imperfect and because we are so, it is very possible that we do, in some situations, act out of naivete. If that is the case, it is essential that we recognize our ignorance and correct ourselves. However, "Naive" is a powerful label that we must use with utmost caution. It is imperative that we do not make the regrettable mistake of misusing that title, especially if the description is implemented in the degradation of another ideal infinitely more powerful, an ideal such as Virtue.

Unlike Naivete, Virtue is not the act of making a blind leap in the dark. It is an open-eyed, conscious decision to step towards the light. Virtue is having full comprehension of Evil and its enticements and choosing Goodness instead.  Some would paint Virtue and Naivete on the same plane but they are not; Virtue acts out of strength; Naivete acts not at all.  Satan would have us be naive; God would have us be pure. Similarly, many would have us believe that purity and innocence are identical, that one cannot be pure without first being innocent. I passionately disagree. Only consider; once we have made a mistake, it is impossible to be made innocent. However, even the darkest metal can be made pure.

I want to clarify that I am not fabricating a clever cop-out. True, it is near impossible to be innocent, but it is painful to be pure. Purity entails a sense of purging, of refining. There is a power and strength in purity and virtue that is not found in innocence or naivete. Some would argue that one cannot really understand "the dark side" until she has experienced it for herself. To those challengers, I would assert that the best way to know the real power of evil is by resisting it. Giving in is easy - you never experience the full force of temptation. But consistently rejecting the powerful enticings of opposition? that is real strength. That is real understanding.

Neither am I deprecating innocence. In fact, I believe that between innocence and purity, innocence is preferable; better to not make an error then to fix one. No, there is no problem with innocence. There is however, a problem with ignorance. Agency is a powerful weapon and can be extremely dangerous in the hands of someone who does not know which way to wield it. In the end, I guess that is what this all comes down to, why we are so emotionally affected by the labeling. It is only reasonable to conclude that we (both those who label and those who are labeled "naive") are defending what we have been fighting to defend for eons. We are defending our ability to act for ourselves and not to be acted upon, we are defending our agency. This is the power that ennobles humankind, that distinguishes man from every other form of life on this planet, that designates us as Children of God. 

In the midst of all of the hurtful labeling, we are aware of the significance of the label. God himself has said that a man cannot be saved in ignorance (D&C 131:6). If we are truly naive, we are like a car without a steering wheel: fueled with energy but lacking the resources necessary to provide direction. In contrast, if we are aware of our circumstances, WE CAN CHOOSE FOR OURSELVES. Not simply that, but those who understand Truth can virtuously choose Goodness. Odds are we will make mistakes, but those who have lost their innocence can choose purity. Yes, it will be painful, but with the stakes so high, would we really choose to sit in the immobilizing damnation of ignorance and naivete? For those who have consciously chosen to be virtuous, God awaits with a reward of exaltation, a reward that was never intended for the naive.

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NOTE: The foundation of this post is based on a couple of extremely substantial assumptions:

1. That there is a Supreme Power in the Universe
2. That that Power is God
3. That that God created the most fundamental part of humankind out of the same matter of which God consists, thereby making us, literally, children of God
4. That we (all of humankind), as children of God, have a unique and greater capacity than any other entity on Earth

Before I begin, I just want to clarify that I don't expect everyone reading this to automatically embrace those four assumptions as Truth. I am, however, asking you to indulge me for a moment so that the actual substance of this post can be analyzed objectively. That being said, lets get to the good part... 

In the book You Are Special, the people in the village where the story takes place had a very unusual hobby. "All day, every day, the Wemmicks did the same thing: They gave each other stickers." The pretty and popular Wemmicks got stars and the ugly and unremarkable Wemmicks received dots.  At first glance, this ritualistic practice seems humorously juvenile... until we turn on our television sets. Almost immediately, phrases such as "illegal alien," "mormon," "treehugger," "gay," "beautiful," "republican," and "handicapped" fly through the air around us.  In our world there are titles for business, others for academics, and still others for social interactions. One by one we classify those around us, recklessly tossing out titles as we silently affix our respective dots and stars onto the hearts and minds of our next-door neighbors.

There is quite a bit of controversy on whether it is acceptable to utilize certain titles. I have heard of multiple studies that have been carried out in an attempt to ascertain the effect that the use of labels has on an individual. After learning about such studies for the 14 years following the first presentation about bullying in my Kindergarten class, I finally started wondering about the validity of those studies. In my mind, it makes sense that derogatory terms would be detrimental to the well-being of  an individual. But I also realized that sugar-coating an idea with a nice name wouldn't change the immediate situation in the slightest. Does the decision of whether we call a person an "illegal alien" or an "undocumented worker" alter the fact that the individual entered a country in a way that was contrary to the laws of the land?  Or, on the flip side, does the fact that we give everyone certificates of participation really change the fact that the girl who built the rocket ship for her 6th grade science fair project is genuinely academically superior to the kids playing with baking soda and vinegar? ...Would a rose by any other name actually smell as sweet?

It was in the midst of these thoughts that reality came and smacked me square in the face. It felt like that moment when you are walking down a staircase with the lights off (not a bright idea) and you get to what you think is the bottom of the staircase but there is actually one more step and for a split second, your sense of reality goes spinning off balance - right before you jump up and look around as if to say "hehe. how long has THAT been there?" Anyways, this was the thought: Its not that all labels are inherently "right" or "wrong" - or even that they are "good" or "bad" ...Its just that they are meaningless.  In the shining truth that we are all children of God, what does it matter if we are "black" or "white" or "smart" or "slow" or "ugly" or "beautiful?" Obviously, those attributes are important aspects of our identity, but when held to the flame of the truth of who we really are, all of our labels and titles are nothing but a spark; fun, beautiful and enticing, but providing insufficient warmth and poised to burn out in less than a moment.

In the book You Are Special, the main character, Punchinello is fed up with the idea of stars and dots until he meets a girl who doesn't have any dots or stars at all: she is "just wooden." Amazed, Punchinello asks the all-knowing woodcarver, Eli how the girl does it. Eli patiently responds, "Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. The stickers only stick if you let them. Who are they to give stars or dots? They are Wemmicks just like you. What they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters is what I think. And I think you are pretty special, because you are mine."

What does it mean to literally belong to God?  What is the worth of a Child of the Most High? Beneath the dots and stars it is so easy to forget that we are all "simply wooden." Yet God invites us “to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; … all are alike unto God" (2 Nephi 26:32). I'm not suggesting we do away with classification altogether, titles are useful when explaining to others the things that we do. I'm just requesting that we remember who we are and that we be cautious with how we define ourselves because titles have a tendency to stick.

A Truth Universally Acknowledged

"Why?" 

"Why don't you find out for yourself? Go up the hill. He's there." 

-You Are Special by Max Lucado

So... this is really more of a continuation of the thoughts from my previous post, The Tree of Knowledge. It stems from the idea that if we sincerely want to understand what real truth is, we must be anxiously engaged in searching it out.  As I've watched society as a whole, I've noticed a tendency to shy away from this idea: teachers get offended when they are openly questioned by one of their students, mothers worry when their children wonder whether a certain belief system is correct or not, sometimes we even run from ourselves in an attempt to hide from the fact that we don't know everything, that we are still imperfect. But we ARE imperfect. And it is for that exact reason that our perceptions of truth should be questioned, that they can be questioned because real truth will stand the test of time: A tree will always be a tree, no matter which angle you examine it from. If we could really disprove truth, it wouldn't be worth sustained belief in the first place.

I realize that this might be an unnerving idea, but we can't afford to be scared.  As a friend of mine once explained to me, "Fear provides nothing - prudence and caution do: They are wise. But there is no benefit in fear... So don't be afraid." My friend's words echoed those in found the Bhagavad Gita "Fear Not. What is not real, never was and never will be. What is real, always was and cannot be destroyed." 
-If truth is real, why are we scared to question it? 

God is the Master Questioner. In the Torah, he questions His wandering children "Where are you?" (Genesis 3:9). In the Book of Mormon He asks His disciples "What is it that ye desire of me?" (3 Nephi 28:1). In the Bible he inquires "Whom say ye that I am?" (Matthew 16:15). In the Qur'an He asks "Is He who creates like him who does not create?" (Surat An-Naĥ 16:17).
 Did God ask these questions because He did not know the answers? Of course not; God is omniscient. I propose that God asked these questions because He saw value in the asking of them. He saw potential in the questioning and the wondering and the discovery.

But He didn't stop at just asking. As in all things, God invites us to become like him. Isn't one of the most repeated principles in the LDS cannon "Ask and ye shall receive?" not "it is expected that you already have in your possession." There is no more explicit invitation than that found in the Book of Mormon. "Experiment upon my words" he pleads and then adds this promise "if it be true, ye will begin to say within yourselves - it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me." It is that delicious enlarging and enlightening that allows us to receive the additional truth into our lives. Therefore, we learn line upon line over the course of our lives.

Truth can stand the test of time. You can question and test and experiment all you want and it will still be true. However, with that freedom comes the duality of consequence. Sometimes it is tempting to try to question and question the truth in an attempt to change it. For some reason, we hope that if we can just ask enough questions and do enough experiments that the truth with suddenly become something more convenient. But real truth will not change: circumstances may, but true, guiding principles will not be altered no matter how many times someone wonders if it will. Truth is constant. Truth is real. 

I would LOVE to hear your view on these ideas. The statements I've just made are not perfect, but I believe them to based in truth. Don't want to take my word for it?  Good.

The Tree of Knowledge

"Some of the Wemmicks admired Lucia for having no dots, so they would run up and give her a star. But it would fall off. Others would look down on her for having no stars, so they would give her a dot. But it wouldn't stay either."

-You Are Special by Max Lucado 

We are beings of truth. One of the most important things that distinguishes human beings from all other species is our ability to differentiate between right and wrong, to recognize Truth. It is obvious that the whole of humanity differs in our opinions of what is "right" and what is "wrong." However, the very sense each of us have that there is a "right" or that there is a "wrong" - even the fact that some believe that they are "right" to believe that there is no "wrong" - PROVES there is some kind of truth that exists outside of ourselves. (For anyone interested in a more in-depth exploration of this idea, the first couple chapters of C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity is absolutely brilliant... but we are going to move on now. :D) 

If truth is actually universal, then it is something to be deeply valued. Only consider: in a world where "every man profits according to his own genius," where the only constant part of life is change, where it is every man for himself, Universal Truth would bind the entire human race together under a single ideal. Imagine what we could accomplish if we were of one heart and one mind! The problem is that because we are imperfect, because we are weak, our individual perceptions of truth are slightly skewed. Just as my expired contacts don't allow me to see perfectly - no matter how hard I look - neither can imperfect people perceive truth perfectly no matter how hard they try.
Now, just because my prescription does not give me 20/20 vision, should I wash my contacts down the drain? What an absurd idea! I would be completely lost.  Does the fact that I cant quite make out the outlines of the leaves on a distant tree mean that the leaves aren't there? Or that I can't KNOW that the leaves are there? Or how about a more consequential question: Does the fact that my friend (who has a better prescription than I do) sees the leaves in a slightly different way than I do signify that leaves don't have a true form? If it did, my prescription wouldn't matter; contacts would be meaningless because they would only assist me in trying to reach a standard that never existed in the first place.
Thankfully, there is a constant, true form to leaves. Just because nobody on earth can pinpoint exactly what it is doesn't mean that it is not real. In addition, there are a lot of different perspectives from which even people with 20/20 vision can look at the leaf. Someone standing under the tree would have a completely different idea of what a leaf looks like than someone with an aerial perspective. But both are real and both are true and both are part of the leaf and wouldn't it be wonderful for us to know exactly what the leaf looks like from all sides? If we could accomplish that, our knowledge of the leaf would be perfect. How foolish is the perfectly-sighted person who stands with her nose against the tree and insists that she knows what the leaf looks like! Granted, she have some concept of leaves. But is a leaf really so limited in meaning that is can be summed up by a mere glance? No. Each of us must step back and admit to ourselves that our small understanding barely encompasses the reality of what a "leaf" is.  
There are many additional analogies that can be made between eyesight and perception of truth. For example, we go to the eye doctor to come closer to seeing reality the way that it IS. There is a reason that we don't go to the heart surgeon (qualified as he may be) to get our eyes checked. Another analogy may be drawn from the fact that even my father, who has perfect vision, goes in for an annual eye check-up. 
The point is, if we really want to know what truth -real truth- is, we must be anxiously engaged in searching it out. If there is, in fact, Universal Truth that binds each of us to our neighbor, it means there is more to this life than just existing, that there is some kind of purpose ...maybe there is more to this life than meets our eyes.

Some Serious Irony

I know I haven't been around that long, but the more I experience life, the more I recognize the beauty of the paradoxical situation that we live in. Here we are, a bunch of imperfect mortal people, putting forth our imperfect mortal effort, creating imperfect mortal situations, in an effort to become perfect immortal beings. Given our circumstances, it's a miracle that the everyday aspects of life turn out as well as they do. However, the fact that not only survival, but change and improvement are possible - that is the real miracle. How that happens, by what force change is made possible, is a life-altering truth and I feel that the discovery of truth of that magnitude should be a sacred and personal experience. But regardless of how it happens, it does happen. People change, reputations are restored, and true character is established. Somehow, all of our ragtag efforts and failed attempts lead to success. An unexpected, yet timely quote from Jane Austin's hero, Mr. Knightly, comes to mind: "Maybe it is our imperfections that make us so perfect for one another." - And so it is. 

One of my favorite quotes from the LDS cannon talks about how, if we are humble, God will make weak things become strong to us. Never, until this last weekend when I was talking to a friend, did I realize that God didn't say "I will change your weakness into strengths." He deliberately stated that he would "make weak things become strong." Consider the following anomalies:

"If he hath not charity, he is nothing. Wherefore, cleave unto charity which is the greatest of all for all things must fail but charity endureth forever." 

- Moroni, Sole survivor of genocide 

"Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy." 

- Beethoven, deaf man

"[Physical] intimacy is a beautiful manifestation of two people being connected in a truly vulnerable, intimate manner because they love each other profoundly. It is beautiful and rich and fulfilling and spiritual and amazing.  The circumstances of our marriage allowed us to build a relationship that is based on everything partners should want: intimacy, communication, genuine love and affection."   

- Josh Weed, Heterosexually-married Gay Mormon

"It is terrible to see and have no vision. I can see, and that is why I can be happy. I can see a God-made world." 

 - Helen Keller, blind woman  

"I was very much afraid." 

- Joan of Arc, military commander of thousands, nineteen-year-old martyr 

Notice that in every one of those circumstances, God did not take away the individual's weakness. He didn't even change the weakness into something "stronger." God made the weak things become strong unto His children. 
Sometimes it is our fear that forces us to  take action. Sometimes it is the darkness that demands we take a step towards the light. Sometimes it is only in the silence that we can hear the voice of God. 
Would Helen Keller have been able to see a heaven-made world had not her eyes been darkend? Would Josh understand the power of true intimacy if he had been distracted by physical passion? Would Moroni have known so much about love if it had never been tested? 
Turns out there is no certain answer, only the choice of faith. Turns out that in the end, it is not our strengths that will get us to heaven, it is our weaknesses. And that my friends, is what I call some serious irony.

Mistakes

"Punchinello?" The voice was deep and strong. Punchinello stopped. "Punchinello! How good to see you. Come and let me have a look at you." Punchinello turned slowly and looked at the large bearded craftsman.

 "You know my name?" the little Wemmick asked. 

"Of course I do. I made you."Eli stooped down, picked him up, and set him on the bench. "Hmm," the maker spoke thoughtfully as he looked at the gray dots. "Looks like you've been given some bad marks." 

"I didn't mean to, Eli. I really tried hard." 

"Oh, you don't have to defend yourself to me, child. I don't care what the other Wemmicks think."

"You don't?"

"No, and you shouldn't either. Who are they to give stars or dots? They are Wemmicks just like you. What they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters is what I think. And I think you are pretty special." 

Punchinello laughed. "Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?"

 Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden shoulders, and spoke very slowly. "Because you are mine. That's why you matter to me. The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The more you trust my love, the less you care about their stickers."

"I'm not sure I understand." 

Eli smiled. "You will, but it will take time. You've got a lot of marks. For now, just come to see me every day and let me remind you how much I care." Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and set him on the ground.

"Remember," Eli said as the Wemmick walked out the door, "you are special because I made you. And I don t make mistakes."

 -You Are Special by Max Lucado